Sand and Water (all completed chapters)
by Nicole
Summary: **Solid stone is just sand and water, baby- Sand and water, and a million years gone by. ** A story of love, loss, and letting go.
1. Sand and Water, part 1

I don't own anything. So sue me. (No, don't really.) I know you hate chapters, but I like feedback. It helps me keep going. And I'm taking about a million liberties with Sam's family. I'm pretending he's an only child and his mother has passed away. Sorry, but I hope you can put the liberties aside and enjoy the tale :) Thanks all. Please feedback.   
  
  
  
Sand and Water----part 1  
  
  
  
Sam ran a hand through his hair, grimacing as he glanced up from the monitor screen to glare at the stack of papers at his desk. "This is impossible," he thought aloud. "How am I supposed to turn 600 pages into a three paragraph statement?"  
  
"Oh, I'm sure you'll find a way," a soft, musky voice answered. "After all, isn't this what they hired you for, my boy?"   
  
Sam blinked in surprise, and raised his gaze to meet a medium height, graying man standing in his office's doorway. On the elderly man's face was the classic old man's smile- the one that said "I know everything, but everyday I try to learn something new."   
  
A wide grin spilled across Sam's face. "Dad!" He exclaimed, standing up for the first time in four hours, and enveloping the older man in a bear hug. "What are you doing here? How did you get here?"   
  
His father returned the embrace, and then stepped back to give his son the once-over. "You look tired. That governor hasn't been working you too hard, now has he? And some woman in the front let me in. Took some time, though. I swear.... it's like trying to get into a Beatles' concert over there."  
  
Sam chuckled, "We call him the "president" now, Dad. You know that."   
  
Mr. Seaborn grinned. "Of course I know that, son. I was just joking with ya, my boy."   
  
Sam smiled, and caught his father's eye, sensing there was something the seventy plus year old wasn't telling him. "So," Sam continued. "Why are you here?"   
  
A visible cloud formed over Mr. Seaborn's eyes. "I just wanted to see my favorite kid, that's all."  
  
Sam rolled his eyes, "I'm your only kid, Dad." He loved that word- it had been way too long since he had been able to say it.   
  
Mr. Seaborn nodded. "Well, how about you let your old pop treat you to lunch. I promise, the papers will still be here when you get back," he motioned to the files sprawled across Sam's desk.   
  
Sam grimaced. "Actually, I really have to finish this statement-"  
  
"Tom!" Josh exclaimed as he poked his head into Sam's office, and then entered the room. He shook hands warmly with the elderly man. "How are you?"  
  
"Hi, Josh," Thomas replied. "It's good to see you again."  
  
"Likewise! What brings you to this part of the country?"  
  
"Just wanted to drop in and see my son. And my friends," Thomas answered, smiling at Josh. "How are you?"  
  
"I'm.... extremely busy. Actually, I just came here to grab the statement from Sam."  
  
Sam winced and shook his head. "Dad, how about I meet you at the Radison for dinner? Around 5? I should be out of here by then."  
  
Thomas smiled slightly. "Good. Josh, why don't you come also?" He asked, extending the invite.  
  
"Ok. Sounds good." Josh smiled.   
  
The older man nodded, and then suddenly wrapped his arms around Sam and Josh, pulling the three of them into a sort of human circle.   
  
Sam chuckled, unsure as the three men stepped back after the embrace. "What was that for?"  
  
Thomas smiled and shook his head. "I just want you boys to know how proud I am of you, of both of you."   
  
The two younger men blushed and muttered their thanks.   
  
"Well, I best be going. Let you two get back to your "official" business," Thomas said with a wink. "Call my cell when you get off of work, Sam. And then you can give me directions."  
  
Sam nodded. "I will."  
  
Thomas smiled and turned to leave. Then he turned around once again. "I love you, Sam." He said softly, in his quiet voice.   
  
Sam blinked. "Me too." He replied. With that, the older man winked again and walked out the door.   
  
  
  
4:30 pm  
Four hours later, the senior staff had gathered into the oval office. Sam, Josh, Toby, CJ, and Leo all were standing in a sort of half circle around the president.   
  
The president placed the statement on his desk. "Good work." He replied, after reading it. "So anything else we need to bring up?" The senior staff all shook their heads, murmuring "no sir." Jed smiled. "Slow day, eh?"  
  
With that, they all groaned.   
  
"Now you've jinxed it, sir," kidded Leo.   
  
Bartlet rolled his eyes. "Thanks, guys."   
  
Right before the staff was about to head out the door, Charlie walked in- without knocking.   
  
"Charlie?" The president asked, confused. "What's wrong?"  
  
Charlie shook his head slightly at the president and turned to look at Sam. "Sam...it's your father."  
  
Sam flinched, his face turning a paler shade. "What about him? What's...what's wrong?"  
  
"He was found unconscience while waiting at some restraunt," Charlie glanced at the memo he was holding, and then continued. "He's at Georgetown Hospital."   
  
To be continued  
  



	2. Sand and Water, part 2

Sand and Water

Sam flung open the double doors of the hospital, Josh following a few feet behind him.Finally, he was able to run to the front desk and breathlessly asked, "Thomas Seaborn.He's my father." 

The middle aged, blue eyed secretary glanced at a piece of paper on her desk as Josh approached the black desk, breathing hard.The nurse glanced at the two men and replied, "He's in the O.R. right now.It's on the ninth floor-"

"Elevator?" Sam half shouted at her. 

She pointed to the metal doors, directly behind the two white house coworkers. 

Josh leaned against the right side of the elevator, watching Sam pace back and forth between the confined space."Sam-"

"Something's wrong, Josh," Sam interrupted."Something's very, very wrong."

After a couple of minutes- though to both of them it was hours- the elevator's doors slowly opened and released her prisoners.In front of the elevator was another desk.Sam and Josh, now slightly more composed, but equally frightened, walked quickly to the desk.

"Mr. Seaborn?I'm his son." Sam asked, his eyes and voice pleading.

The nurse blinked, and looked at the panting, ruffled men standing before her.In a gentle voice, she said." Please, sir.Have a seat.The surgeon will be speak to you shortly."

"Surgeon?" Sam gasped out."What the hell is happening?!" He yelled at the young receptionist.

"Sam," Josh began quietly, soothingly though his voice was equally taut with emotion and worried."Let's sit."

And with that, the two shaken young men perched on equally uncomfortable plastic chairs, awaiting news that neither one anticipated. 

Yes, they're short.Sorry, but if you want a little taste every night.......evil grin 


	3. Sand and Water, part 3

  
  
Sand and Water part 3  
  
  
"The Radison."  
  
Josh glanced up from the Sports Illustrated magazine he had stopped reading about forty minutes ago. "What?" he asked.   
  
Sam looked away and started tapping the plastic armrests of the chair. "We were supposed to be at dinner now. At the Radison."  
  
"Well, all's I can say is that he owes both of us the bafe for putting us through this."   
  
Sam almost smiled, but he ended up just nodding.   
  
"Mr. Seaborn? Mr. Seaborn?"   
  
Josh and Sam both looked up from their own thoughts to see a young doctor, his scrubs stained with blood, entering the waiting area from the O.R. hallway.   
  
Both men scrambled to their feet and the doctor approached them, a grave look shadowing his face.   
  
"Mr. Seaborn?"   
  
"Yes, I'm he." Sam answered. "Can I see....how's my Dad?"  
  
The doctor sighed.   
  
Sam's heart fell. He lost his balance slightly, and switched his weight unto his left foot.   
  
"Sir," the doctor began. "Your father had a massive tumor bordering his aorta."  
  
Both Sam and Josh blinked, Josh glancing at Sam questionably who returned with the gaze with equally confused eyes.   
  
"Obviously, operating was an extremely risky situation. We had, however, no other options."  
  
"Tumor?" Sam was able to choke out. "What...what?"   
  
"Yes sir. It apparently had grown so large that it had disabled your father's heart's ability to produce oxygen. Which is why he passed out."  
  
Sam felt dizzy, Josh grasped his hand to steady his friend- and himself.   
  
"We were able to remove the tumor."  
  
Both men breathed a small sigh of relief.   
  
"But," the doctor continued reluctantly, "In doing so, we discovered that there were at least five smaller tumors bordering the ventricles. And, your father had no oxygen for twenty minutes, at least, before we were notified of his arrest and came on the scene."   
  
"Twenty minutes?" Josh asked, shockingly.   
  
"Yes. Because of that, and other complications, he is currently in a coma.... but stable."  
  
Tears of raw pain formed in Sam's eyes. "I-" he swallowed, trying to gain composure. "Will he wake up?"   
  
The doctor looked at the young man, now just a boy who wanted to his dad. He shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry, sir. But we just received a cat scan of his brain directly following the arrest. A ventilator is the only thing keeping him, or that can keep him breathing now. And that too, in time, will stop working."  
  
Sam dropped Josh's hand and sunk into his chair. "How long will the ventilator keep him...alive?" his voice wavering on the last word.   
  
"Could be days, months. Not longer than eight, most likely." Then, hesitantly, "We can take him off the ventilator, however."   
  
Sam eyes widened, searching for a string of hope he could grasp with all his might. "And?"   
  
The doctor looked away. "He has an organ card."  
  
Josh looked aghast. "You want to kill him so you can harvest his organs? You bastard! You tell his only son that his only parent is dieing, that there's not hope. Then you press for dibs on the kidney-"  
  
"Josh." Sam interrupted in a soft voice. "He wouldn't want this. He wouldn't want to be on a machine. He told me..." his voice broke, but no tears fell. "He said, "My boy, if I can't do it myself, then I ain't gonna want some piece of metal doin' it for me.""   
  
He turned to the young doctor, standing slowly. "May I see him?"   
  
  
tbc  
  
  
  
  
  
to be continued.   



	4. Sand and Water, part 4

Sand and Water

Sam stared numbly from his seat in his desk chair across his office.

_*****"He was a good man.He will always be remembered as such," the minister stated quietly."He leaves a son and a brother.We hope- we know, that Tom Seaborn will be reunited with his wife in the glory of Heaven and our Father.For his brother, and his son- that they will find strength during this difficult time...."_

_ _

_"Lord, hear our prayer," the congregation replied.Josh squeezed Sam's arm, trying to offer comfort to his friend, though his own heart continued breaking at the thought of never being able to see again the man whom he always thought of as a second father. **_

_ _

Sam sighed, with great effort. He was still in a sort of shock, unable to comprehend what had happened.It had only been two hours after the doctor- what was his name again?-released Thomas from the ventilator.Sam held on to the elderly man's hand, praying prayers he had forgotten while Josh stood against the far curtain/wall of the room, hoping to give Sam comfort, but also privacy.Then, an hour and fifty minutes later, the complex beeping of the monitors turned into a simple hum.And that was it.Sam lowered his face against his father's mouth, pressing against his lips.Then, somberly, he stood, bent at the waist, and kissed Tom's forehead, whispering, "Tell Mom hi.And that I love her."With that, he walked out of the small, curtained room, and went directly to a payphone, starting to plan the funeral for the following afternoon. 

It was a beautiful funeral.He was told that so many times.A wonderful good bye for a wonderful man.So many words, but he didn't hear any of them.Josh had called work earlier, telling them that he and Sam would be gone for the day for a funeral. They had understood.

After the funeral, Josh dropped his mourning friend at his apartment.

"Want me to stay, man?" he had asked, worry and sadness mixing into his voice. 

"No.I need to be alone." Sam answered stonily, while opening his door. 

"Ok." Josh answered quietly, understanding.

Sam turned as he was about to shut the car's door behind him."Thanks, Josh.For...everything." 

Josh nodded."Don't mention it.I...I loved him, too, Sam."

Sam offered a small smile to his friend, and then started to ascend the stairs of his apartment complex.He only reached halfway up when he turned and began descending. 

He had only intended to go for a short walk.Something- anything- to take his mind off of the day's events.But, somehow, he found himself sitting in his office, staring idly off into the empty hallway at eleven thirty pm. 

A gentle tapping on the door caused Sam to blink and return from his thoughts.He replied quietly, "Come in."

A pajama clad, robe wearing Bartlet opened the door.He entered the office carefully, not wanting to upset the already shaken deputy.

"Mr. President," Sam murmured, surprised.He forced his exhausted body to stand, holding onto his desk for support."What can I do for you, sir?"

Jed blinked.A secret service man had called the president about fifteen minutes ago, awaking him from a restless sleep.Bartlet had assumed that there was a chance that Sam would come in after the funeral to catch up on work.He asked security to let him know if Sam happened to come by the White House.Jed wanted to offer his young employee a few words of comfort, and maybe friendship.However, he did not want to force a physically and emotionally drained young man to stand and request work at midnight.

"Sit, Sam." The president offered as the younger man gratefully sank down into his chair.

"Sir?" Sam questioned, his voice wavering slightly."What-" he cleared his throat.In a stronger, but forced voice, he continued, "Why are you here?" 

The president pulled an idle folding chair against the wall to sit at Sam's side, Sam swiveled his own chair to face the president, his eyes lowered slightly. 

"I heard about your father," Jed began.Sam winced softly."All of us- Toby, CJ, Leo, myself-we wanted to be there with you, at the funeral," he continued gently, trying to meet Sam's downcast glance."We were all praying for you today." 

Sam blinked, and glanced up quickly, only to lower his gaze again."Thank you, sir." He answered quietly."I appreciate it." 

Jed ran a hand through his ruffled hair- compliments of two hours of sleep."I guess..."He paused, searching for words to say."I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and that all of us will help you get through this.And..." He paused noticing Sam's state.There was a shadow growing over face, and his skin looked ashen and pale.He had loosened his tie and unbuttoned the first three buttons of his white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up.Seeing the late twenties young man sitting there, looking like a defeated fifty year old....it was almost too much.

"Sam." 

"Yes sir?" Sam asked mutely.

Jed asked the only thing that he could think of to ask."How are you, Sam?" Jed questioned, his voice soft and gentle, yet concerned. 

Immediately after the words had registered in Sam's mind, his lips began to quiver.He glanced up to meet Bartlet's eyes for the first time since the president had entered the room.Jed saw the mature facade fade almost in seconds, as tears filled Sam's eyes.

"Mr. President," Sam searched for the words."I don't want-- I won't cry in front of you...s-s-sir."He stuttered out the last word, a single tear falling from his eye, rolling down his cheek. 

Bartlet inhaled slowly, his heart breaking at the younger man's attempt at strength and resolution."You don't have to do that for me, son." He answered quietly.

With that, Sam's body began to shake, and for the first time since his father's death, tears fell from his face.

Bartlet leaned forward and started to give Sam a hug, hoping to offer comfort.Sam's body stiffened, and was about to pull back, but Jed continued the embrace, holding one arm around the deputy's back, and the other holding the back of his head.In seconds, Sam leaned into the president, accepting the embrace.Sobs began to rack from his body, and muffled shouts of mourning came from his lips.

"I want my Dad." Sam whimpered, his voice sounding of that of a young boy, desperate only to see his father again. 

"I know," Jed murmured gently."I know." 

They stayed like that, the leader of the free world rocking the deputy like a child, and murmuring soothing sounds against his hair.After about twenty minutes or so of embracing the deputy, Bartlet realized that Sam had suddenly fallen asleep.He gently pulled back from the younger man, and leaned Sam against the chair, lifting his legs to place on the folding chair.Then, Jed removed his robe, and placed it over Sam as a sort of makeshift blanket.

Before he turned off the lights and left the room, he whispered into the dark office, "Everything's sand and water, Sam.Just remember that.Everything but love- it's just sand and water."

All alone I didn't like the feeling

All alone I sat and cried

All alone I had to find some meaning

In the center of the pain I felt inside

All alone I came into this world

All alone I will someday die

Solid stone is just sand and water, baby

Sand and water, and a million years gone by

I will see you in the light of a thousand suns

I will hear you in the sound of the waves

I will know you when I come, as we all will come

Through the doors beyond the grave

All alone I heal this heart of sorrow

I can only live this day

Flesh and bone my life's bursting toward tomorrow

And the love you send my heart still finds it's way

All alone I came into this world

All alone I will someday die

Solid stone is just sand and water, baby

Sand and water and a million years gone by

~end~

"Sand and Water" is by Beth Nielsen Champan.No copyright infringement intended.No profit is made/sought from the use of her song in this fictional work.


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